by Irvin D. Yalom
They are really interesting concepts to think about, and I think some of you would want to read it!
Love’s Executioner is probably one of the best books with which to start my graduate school career. Much of what Yalom references and writes on includes questions I have sought to answer or beliefs I have informally adopted as I have grown as an independent young adult.
The first words that struck me were a mere three paragraphs in: Existence pain. While one normally thinks of extremes when such words are presented—those people completely consumed by the “whys” and “hows”—Yalom is using them to describe a vast majority of people. Most people, I believe, do not think they personally struggle with existence pain, as well as the things that come with it: meaning-seeking, death anxiety, and self-awareness. But, in fact, the things we as humans have instituted in our everyday lives give credit to the fact that we all experience these things and seek to reduce the pain and anxiety. While I have thought about these concepts, I have never put them together in one cohesive symptom/cure-type-model. It was very interesting to read these things in such brevity and connectedness.
Another concept he touches on is the belief in personal specialness. Yalom describes it as a delusion meant to afford the illusion of safety. This is something most people are taught, through religion and societal norms, that can be thought of at a rational level—the concept of a unique life history, special qualities and gifts—or that can be taken to an irrational level—the belief that one is invulnerable, that one exists beyond human and biological law. I have personally thought much about this concept since moving away from the catholic religion and developing a personal belief system based more on existentialism and intrinsic personal development. It seems as though religion not only quells death anxiety through the illusion of an afterlife, but also through ascribing each person a completely unique, ultra important soul that will transcend to that afterlife.
Other concepts that Yalom touches on that were interesting include ultimate isolation, cosmic indifference, Cervantes’ “wise madness or foolish sanity,” Otto Rank’s life stance of “refusing the loan of life in order to avoid the debt of death,” and unrealized potential and how it relates to life perspectives and priorities.
This book leaves a lot of food for thought and incites further exploration—a great beginning to my counseling education.
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