buddhism witout beliefs

things to write on:

what am i here for? am i living in such a way that i can die without regrets? how much of what i do is compromise? do i keep postponing what i "really " want to do until conditions are more favorable?
asking such questions interrupts indulgence in the comforts of routine and shatters illusions about a cherished sense of self-importance. it forges me to seek again the impulse that moves me from the depths, and to turn aside from the shallows of habitual patterns. it requires that i examine my attachments to physical health, financial independence, loving friends. for they are easily lost; i cannot ultimately rely on them. is there anything i can depend on?
it might be that all i can trust in the end is my integrity to keep asking such questions as: since death alone is certain and the time of death uncertain, what should i do? and then to act on them.


probability is not certainty


agnosticism is not excuse for indecision. if anything, it is a catalyst for action. for in shifting concern away from a future life and back to the present, it demands an ethics of empathy rather than a metaphysics of fear and hope.


self-confidence is not a form of arrogance. it is trust in our capacity to awaken. it is both the courage to face whatever life throws at us without losing equanimity, and the humility to treat every situation we encounter as one from which we can learn.


such a friend is someone whom we can trust to refine our understanding of what it means to live, who can guide us when we're lost and help us find the way along a path, who can assuage our anguish through the reassurance of his or her presence...
these friends are teachers in the sense that they are skilled in the art of learning from every situation...
for true friends seek not to coerce... these friends...draw forth what is waiting to be born.


what features of contemporary life are most likely to affect the concept of true friendship? mutual respect for the creative autonomy of individual experience would take precedence over submission to the dogmas of a school or the autocratic authority of a guru. the responsibility of a friend would be to encourage individuation, self-reliance, and imagination.


the pivotal moment of human consciousness: it becomes a question for itself.


no conditions are permanent;
no conditions are reliable;
nothing is self.
-buddha


agnostic stance is not based on disinterest. it is founded on the passionate recognition that i do not know. it confronts the enormity of having been born instead of reaching for the consolation of a belief.
(The agnostic eschews certainty because she values doubt, treasures creativity, finds what happiness she can in the groping quests of art and science, in the private affections of family and friends. -Raymo belonging)


awareness is a process of deepening self-acceptance. whatever it observes, it embraces. there is nothing unworthy of acceptance.


distraction drugs us into forgetfulness....
focused awareness is difficult not because we are inept at some spiritual technology, but because it threatens the sense of who we are.